Ever since I was a kid I loved movies. When I was really young I loved Disney movies. The delightful animation and catchy songs with a dollop of lovable characters captured (along with a whole host of pre-schoolers) my imagination. I remember proudly proclaiming that ‘Ariel had turned into a fewman’ when I was about 3 years old. Though I would say that Alice in Wonderland was my ultimate favourite.
The story of a girl who is not interested in what the grown ups want her to do, who retreats into her own fantasy world populated by white rabbits, dodos, smoking caterpillars, and ruddy faced queens spoke to me. I wanted to retreat into that world and away from the one where I was constantly told what to do, and how to behave. I found it hard to understand the world in which I lived, and so Wonderland with it’s bright colours and nonsensical ways made much more sense to me. It was a world where anything could happen and was not constrained by convention, something I never really got along with.
As the years progressed so did my knowledge and taste in movies. I bawled my eyes out when Littlefoot thinks his mother’s returned, only to find out it was his shadow all along. As I grew up in the 90s there was a lot of classics from the times, Cool Runnings was always popular. I think my grandmother can still recite the entire scripts of Home Alone II, Look Who’s Talking 2, Three Men and a Little Lady and Sister Act II: Back in the Habit from them being on repeat whenever my brother and I were at her house. I used to make her watch Mr Nanny with the brilliant acting skills of Hulk Hogan, right until the end when I would get scared and make her turn it off. I think she’s still annoyed about that.
During this time my parents were getting a divorce, and as would become a pattern in my life during tough times it was to films that I turned for comfort and support.
Mrs Doubtfire was timed just right for this maelstrom in my life. Like everybody else I was entertained by the antics of Robin Williams drag act, the scene where he has to seamlessly switch between himself and Mrs Doubtfire for an inspection from the comically dour Mrs Selna in particularly entertaining and a great example of the physical performance Robin Williams became famous for.
Seeing a story about other kids going through the same heartbreak that I was brought a great comfort in the sadness that I was feeling in that time. At a time when I felt along in the world with no one to turn to, Robin Williams, Sally Field, and Mara Wilson were there for me to let me know that I wasn’t alone and there are others out there who have experienced similar emotions.
As the 90s gave way to the 00s and adolescence started rearing it’s head the movies I was watching also started to mature a little. Along with the usual teen fare of the time like American Pie, She’s All That, and Mean Girls. It was at this time however that my tastes starting diverting away from the mainstream. I had an old television in my room, so I was able to easily sneak up late at night and watch all manner of movies I was far too young to be watching. I saw Stand by Me at 11 and cried like the little girl I was. It was these late night television sessions that I credit with really helping to shape my view of the world. I was able to explore the worlds of the weirdos, the strangers, the eccentrics. People like me.
On the night of my 13th birthday Channel 4 screened Trainspotting, the second feature film from Danny Boyle who would go on to be an Oscar winner for Slumdog Millionaire.
This was the first ‘grown up’ film I really, truly loved. I watched it at least once a week for at least a year.
As I have previously mentioned on this blog, Trainspotting is a story of outsiders, not just that, but outsiders who don’t care about and actively reject the mainstream ‘ I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who need reasons when you’ve got heroin?’. As a teenager who from a young age had struggled to fit into the tiny town where I was raised this spoke to me. I’m not saying that I rushed out and tried heroin (to this day I have never stuck a needle in my arm, that bit seemed kinda yucky) but it was here that I learnt that it was OK to go against the grain and choose your own life with it’s own rules.
When I was eighteen I packed up my bindle and waved goodbye to my mother as I set off to find my fortune in Sunderland. After quickly finding out this is not possible in Sunderland I settled on plan B and decided to study media production. Though I watched many new movies, studied them and was even a member of the film soc. I began to feel my love of movies wane a little. I still watched as many as possible, but I found that they were being used for as a distraction or something to have on in the background as I did work or looked at cat pictures on the internet (this was the naughties, it was still funny back then). This movie slump lasted through graduation and taking my first tentative steps in full time employment. I thought my movie spark was gone.
Then one night, when I was in my mid 20s I decided to watch Tommy, the rock opera penned by The Who about a deaf dumb and blind kid, who can sure play a mean pinball.
I don’t know what it was, it could have been the blindingly brilliant visual feast, it could have been the wonderful songs, it could have been any number of things. Whatever it was something clicked inside of me and my love of cinema came back with avengeance.
I had seen Tommy before as a teenager, and though I always enjoyed it, it was not until the viewing on this fateful night that I well and truly understood what I was looking at. It was genius in movie form.
Thus began a renaissance for my love of movies, I was able to enjoy movies even more than I had when I was younger and on a much deeper level.
As well as being amazing for so many reasons Tommy will always have a special place in my heart for reigniting my passion for movies. Before I was very selective about what I would watch, and would randomly take against certain genres but now I’ll watch and (mostly) enjoy everything and anything.
So, why do I love movies? I love them because they’ve brought me worlds I can get lost in, they’ve brought me characters that have helped me through tough times. They have helped me to bring more of an understanding of our world through the stories they bring. We all have that one form of art that speaks to us, that we can turn to when we need it. It can be used to express yourself in ways you never thought possible. For some this is artworks, for others music. For me, it’s movies.